Dorothy Lehane
An excerpt from house-girl
for Wolach
is it a lack of vision or lack of strategy
to ask you to lie in the dark
with me & catastrophize until the morning―
where so much in the language
is carried away by these traces of masochism
& the night is an occupy agenda.
there is no compromise for the strangers
in their hope spasm. being broken into by―
my mother, the memory that doesn’t need dressing up
moving gracefully with purpose but never stopping for touch.
shaming my father
hanging my psyche out to dry―
hope is the word for when your dogmas align.
they said where are you hiding in the poem
replace where with why & invite everyone
when I say body I mean growing up in the throes―
this is the conversation that happened.
which keeps happening, the exhaustive chattering.
how are you listening. how are you at floatation tanks.
how are you at naming things―
now that my worst fears are happening
naming things doesn’t help.
when I say body I mean I am calm & cannot sound
when I say I cannot sound I mean accidents scored in the body―
when I say lifeline I mean over-coding
when I say overmastering
I mean restoring the language & shaping it―
nobody here wants tubes
nobody here wants to press a button
nobody wants the over-tilt of confession―
for Wolach
is it a lack of vision or lack of strategy
to ask you to lie in the dark
with me & catastrophize until the morning―
where so much in the language
is carried away by these traces of masochism
& the night is an occupy agenda.
there is no compromise for the strangers
in their hope spasm. being broken into by―
my mother, the memory that doesn’t need dressing up
moving gracefully with purpose but never stopping for touch.
shaming my father
hanging my psyche out to dry―
hope is the word for when your dogmas align.
they said where are you hiding in the poem
replace where with why & invite everyone
when I say body I mean growing up in the throes―
this is the conversation that happened.
which keeps happening, the exhaustive chattering.
how are you listening. how are you at floatation tanks.
how are you at naming things―
now that my worst fears are happening
naming things doesn’t help.
when I say body I mean I am calm & cannot sound
when I say I cannot sound I mean accidents scored in the body―
when I say lifeline I mean over-coding
when I say overmastering
I mean restoring the language & shaping it―
nobody here wants tubes
nobody here wants to press a button
nobody wants the over-tilt of confession―
© Copyright Dorothy Lehane 2021
Dorothy Lehane is the author of four poetry publications: Bettbehandlung (Muscaliet Press 2018), Umwelt (Leafe Press 2016), Ephemeris (Nine Arches Press 2014), and Places of Articulation (dancing girl press 2014). She teaches creative writing at the University of Kent and is currently writing a memoir on the lived autoimmune experience, titled Reactive: a memoir of an unknowable body.